Spent last night doing chores and installing software back onto the rebuilt laptop. First priority--software wise--was getting the writing suites back in place and restoring my brainstorms and early production work. Everything is back aside from one main program Dramatica Professional v.4.0. I have no idea what's happening, but it would not install at all. The installer would not even launch.

This is odd because it worked fine on the laptop and XP Home. There should be no reason why it won't load on XP Professional now.

I think it may be running a license check or something online during installation and it's seeing that the license is on more than 2 computers now. I shot off an email to the the company and I await their response.

I would need them to free one license (currently marked as used) in their records as the laptop it was on needed to be rebuilt from scratch and the last program installation was lost. If this is the issue, I should be good to go once they free up that tied license.

I'll take some time off tonight and just veg out. Tomorrow (Thursday), I'll put on some development software and the Fairview VPN so I can access my work computer.

I should be able to start some writing time over the weekend.

My best,
Jason Henke

Ever since I had put my development of the Jason Henke website (www.jasonhenke.com) on the back burner--after surviving the layoffs in June--I've been toying with what to do as my multimedia stuff is being built. As any designer/developer will tell ya, that crap takes time!

A true production and refocusing of anything takes a lot of upfront time to--hopefully--have a smooth roll out and debut. I do want to have something in place as I take this time so I can post updates, progress, and such in one spot that I can then feed out to other areas. I am finally moving forward with that desire.

I think that I've found a forward path that will allow me to do this. I'm going to install WordPress (http://wordpress.org/)--and maybe add in the DisQus (http://disqus.com/) application--on the Jason Henke web site to start the ball officially rolling; I can get a polished look and I can add in my "update enteries" as I go. This should allow me cross post to my "reclaiming creative life day-by-day" entries on the proper blog (jasonhenke.blogspot.com) and my more personal--and varied--posts to this very Windows Live Space (jasonhenke.spaces.live.com) as appropriate.

Using Windows Live Writer (http://get.live.com/writer/overview), I can write everything on any computer (mostly my laptop while on the run) and then post the entries to all spots easily. This is a very good idea I think. It keeps things more focused.

So, the Jason Henke website (www.jasonhenke.com) will have all of the postings in different sections, some static pages for resume and "about" material, and links to all the online spaces I'm a part of. This allows the Jason Henke site to become the front end--and one-stop-shop--that I intend it to be for me.

The WordPress bit will get me a lot of what I wanted right off the bat. I can then bring in Simple Machine Forums (www.simplemachines.org), and the behind the scenes module I've been building (this has gone well). I can then add in the games, forums, resume, etc. as subdirectories as they are developed.

The "behind the scenes module" bit that I've been working on has been going quite well, but I have a lot to add into it. I think my efforts, while not having a front facing look yet have been going well. It's nothing major, but does allow me to share more as I go forward.

I'll tell you what, WordPress will allow me to get rocking quicker and my Jason Henke website (www.jasonhenke.com) will be more purposeful as the other items can be built and put into place. Unfortunately, the change to the website will up my monthly fee, but that was going to happen anyway, because I was going to add in the database backend.

I may finally have a path forward--a path, that I found by accident this morning.

I love when this stuff happens!

My best,
Jason Henke

Last night--while watching the convention and a historic moment in the Western World (the first black Presidential candidate is huge history no matter your party) on a historic day (anniversary of MLK's "I have a dream")--I stripped the laptop down to the bones, rebuilt it, reinstalled XP Professional and all appears to have gone well.

This time there was one important thing that the upgrade asked me for. It did NOT ask me for this in the first attempt. It needed to know where the driver for my network card was, I put in the disc, pointed to the file, and XP Pro went off and running. I was able to connect to the Internet after the installation. I was able to download patches and service pack 3. It appears to be working again.

Having the XP Pro upgrade process ask for the driver this time is massive. That's where the problems were after I upgraded last time. My network cards, my ipconfig module, all dropped dead and could neither be updated, reinstalled, or found. That was one of the oddest things I've had happen in a long time.

After service pack 3 installed, I shut the laptop down and hit the sack about midnight (I needed to do this as I get up at 4 AM to head into the office). I'll power it up when I get home and hopefully it all comes up fine. Then, I'll install the remaining patches and--if all goes well--I'll start putting on the software again. I should be up and writing, developing the multimedia, the games, and the movie preproductions again by the end of the holiday weekend.

That will F'N rock.

This whole implossion of the laptop was a complete pain in the butt. Hopefully, I'm off and running now. It seemed so last night. So, we'll see what happens tonight when I fire it up on the XP Professional Service Pack 3 O.S.

I am cautiously opptomistic as I was able to do things on the 'net last night.

Tonight, while watching "Ghost Hunters", I'm going to be doing a lot of laptop work. All should go well (famous last words right?) and I should have things underway again.

Mostly, I'll be backing up all of my data, my creative writing work, my pre-production and brainstorming notes, and then I'll be reinstalling all of my software from scratch.

I'm just hoping to remove some junk and clutter and get the puppy running as quickly as it can. It is old and it may be on the last legs, but the Laptop still does what I need it to.

I will have to get a new computer in the next couple of years or so and I'll be getting both a desktop and a laptop again as the combination has been spectacular for all phases of my multimedia artistry.

Whatever the new laptop will be, it'll be as extremely portable--and as powerful--as I can get no matter what.

I don't know of course, but I sure feel like having a desktop computer is in the last days for most people. I just find laptops to be more "every day usable" for folk. They are smaller--and the lighter they are...well, the more you can bring them everywhere with you. Hell, this desire to mobile compute is the reason that I think that the IPod/IPhone/SmartPhone mini PCs will destroy the laptop trend in the end. Even using my Tungsten T3 (heck, even going back to using my Sony Clie) with "Documents to Go" or MobiPocket Reader has been extremely productive for me...I just think this type of mobile computing is the future.

I mean, the major reason for my having a desktop box alongside my laptop is for power development. Most people--however--don't need such a warhorse because they mostly watch movies, youtube videos, stream music, surf the web, shoot off emails, use an Office suite or Money suite,  etc. A laptop serves those needs incredibly well. I haven't even seen to many people gaming at the computers anymore. Folk do still game of course, but it's mostly more casual online games I see getting more play.

I'm going to be getting a new printer soon as I'm moving forward in some production work and prototyping. I'm strongly leaning towards a color laser printer at the moment because I don't want to have to spray items for protection and waterproofing anymore (well, I want to reduce my need to do so).

I just don't have a spray booth or proper ventilation at home and I'm not going to be able to get such a work studio anytime soon. Plus, winter is coming and the outside spraying will not be viable anymore.

A laser printer would fit my needs extremely well, I don't print up photographs on my home printer (a waste if you ask me) so I'm not worried about that. I need good production levels of printing, I need network connectivity, and I need more 'permanent' ink--a Laser Printer seems to meet these criteria better than the inkjets I've been looking at.

Even if I get a laser printer down the road, my regular old deskjet will still be in use for normal print jobs.

At Sam's Club I saw a terabyte network hard drive for a very good price. I'd love to have a network drive and a network printer, they'd just increase my productivity at home and I could be at either of the computers. That is a win/win.

--Jason Henke

I think it's been June or so since I've logged on to any of the major webspaces (MySpace, Facebook, Orkut, etc.). I may have friend requests, I may have nothing, but I should update the sites. I have no idea what value these "apps" bring to the table, but I'm not wowed by them yet.

Of course, I can't judge them since I've done very little with them as of yet.

I just feel like I logged in, created my same profile in 10 sites, and then there was nothing else to do. Wait, I can shoot out a little Twitter style "note" and say, "Hey, I'm sleeping" or "Hey, I"m bored" or "Hey, I'm..." you get the idea. That's not very exciting nor a great call for me to use the social sites. However, I hear about application widgets you can use, but do these amount to anything more than throwing folk strippers, Muppets, pirates, etc? I know there are at least a game or two on Facebook since all the fall out around the Scrabble game brouhaha.

Are these good networking (social and professional) sites? Do they help you stay in contact with people? Will they benefit me or my time spent on them? Why are they so popular?

I guess the only way to find out is to stay in them for a bit and see what happens when I push the big red buttons, the blinking lights, and flip the levers opposite ways.

Live well, laugh often, love much,
Jason Henke

Since the laptop crashed after loading up XP Professional, I'll be rebuilding it from the ground up. This whole experience is still odd--as the upgrade went smooth and the laptop worked fine for a day and then all network cards were suddenly dropped dead. Driver updates could not bring it back.

Well, tonight I'm going to break out the restore discs for the laptop and let her rip tonight. This will be the evening. I'll play some Guitar Hero  or watch a flick and let the progress bars chug away.

Once XP Home is installed again, I will update the drivers, and then give the XP Pro upgrade another rip. If this bombs out, I'll restore again and have to live with XP Home.

This would suck. It'll mean the XP Professional software was a $200 waste. It'll mean that my machine that has the specs for XP Professional is stuck on the sister OS of XP Home. Don't get me wrong, XP Home will work fine (it has to date), but I was hoping for the Remote Desktop and some other development features given in XP Professional.

Well, wish me luck. Tonight I jump into the breech for another go!

My best,
Jason Henke

Well, installing new drivers has not worked. The laptop is hosed.

It upgraded fine, it worked fine (for about a day), and then all network cards were dropped. Reinstalling them with new drivers bombed out as well. No go, the laptop can not handle XP Pro for some reason. It is an older box, but it's got the power for it...the internal components must be older than I thought.

Damn it.

I've now lost $300 in the last two weeks on purchases that have failed (don't get my started on Ticketmaster's web schemes). F___!!!!!!

I hate (!) losing cash. It's one of the reasons that I'm not a gambler (only my life, never my money)--family history is another. I'll game for the fun of it and fight hard for my M&M coffers, but I will not put up my own cash for it. I'm a gamesmen--and a sportsman--and can compete hard just for the fun of it.

Well, won't my weekend time be fun? I get to wait for progress bars as I restore my laptop. Yea.

I did get my network behaving again (and the desktop box) so some progress was made at the very end of last evening, but the laptop did not respond to any treatment. It's a lost cause.

Well, once it's back, I can start my side projects and personal business again. The art, the multimedia, and the writing can begin at that point--that is something to look forward to and a great end to this annoying couple of days.

Take care, live well, laugh often, love much,
Jason Henke

Well, whilst the upgrade of the laptop to XP Pro went well and quickly, I think some issues have started rear up. Mostly I think it's a driver update causing the problems for the network card, but McAfee is acting up on both of my boxes. It appears that a recent update to McAfee might actually be the problem.

I'll be working on these issues tonight and hope to have it resolved before the end of my evening. I don't really know how it will go, nor what I will do, but I have a plan of attack.

I hate when these things happen, it takes time away from the items I would much rather focus upon. For instance, I was just going to install my full writing suite of applications and get started on the books. These new computer issues are in the way.

I'm praying some electronic component is not dying. I am disturbed by some of the behaviors I'm seeing on both boxes, but the laptop issues appear tied to both upgrades.

Frustrating, but these things happen. At least I have a shot of understanding why.

My best,
Jason Henke

I was on vacation this last week (from Wednesday to Monday) and I took some time to run the upgrade on my laptop from XP to XP Pro.

I'm happy to report that it went incredibly smooth and was very quick. The entire process competed in under an hour and there was only one minor hiccup that was resolved simply by rebooting. For a very brief moment, I couldn't connect to the Internet after the upgrade. Alarm bells starting going off in my head wehn I saw that my MAC addresses for the laptop (and its wireless hardware) had reported as blank...that was odd.

The solutions was very simple: I went to the "Run" option in the "Start" menu and typed "ipconfig -all". Then I fluhed the settings by using "ipconfig -release", and then I rebooted the system. It came back fine.

I know that your thinking, "isn't XP Pro behind the times?"

Yes it is, but I hadn't needed XP Pro on the laptop before now and my laptop can not handle Vista. So, it's XP Pro or Linux. I don't have a reason to upgrade or replace the laptop yet as it can still really handle everything I need it for. So, before XP Pro left the marketplace, I got my upgrade package and let it run. I needed the Remote Desktop and server functions for development.

Anyway, development on my side work is ready to get rolling again. This is cool.

Well, it's apparent that my current hosting package will not suffice for the design of my site (www.jasonhenke.com).

My current hosting company is a great shop: www.inet7.com and they're local but I'm going to need more than they have I think.

Here are the problem areas for me currently:

• File space is much to limited at 256MB.
  
  • I'll need more than this.
    
  • I can get more than that free at other spots currently.
  • I've asked www.inet7.com for a different package deal, or if they will match other offers, but the customer representatives have never responded--so, I take that as a no.
    • too bad, I really like this shop, they've been fantastic.
      
• PHP version is lower than I'd like
  • I'm after v5 at least
    
• MySQL version is lower than I want (need some stored procedures)
• Bandwidth.
  
  • If I get the games and the site presentation as multimedia based as I want, I'll bury this
• SMFFourms.
  
  • I'll need to install this and it will increase my server space needs

So, what am I going to do?

I'm not entirely sure at the moment, but for now I'm developing the entire multimedia site on my home machines to see what the demands will be. In the interim--for the online presence at least--I'll come up with a basic HTML site to put out w/my resume, news, and such. I guess that I'll use it to link off to blogs and I'll make use of my free space in the other locations for testing.

I may end up needing my own server I guess, but I'm not running a business really (well, I could be in the future I guess) so I'm not sure what I'll do. I'd prefer to not have a dedicated server, but it may end up at that.

I really want to get stuff out there.

Live well, laugh often, love much!
Jason Henke

Well, OK, that's an exageration. MySQL was the bug-a-boo, but that was because the configuration utility that runs after the installer did not work completely. I have gotten the service running and I'll install the GUI admin tool this weekend. Then, I'll do some testing and install netbeans 6 for the Java technology development as well.

I think this will be a beneficial thing to have the laptop set up for all areas of my creative live. Be it multimedia design, writing, film making, music mixing, or game designing...I'm really glad I have it up and running at full tilt. I've really missed working on it. Next up, I'll be bringing it to work to use it over lunch at a park or for my own designs as things come up.

I can't wait to use it for writing on the fly, for brainstorming, and for reading e-books and PDFs.

www.jasonhenke.com has a framework in place in some test code. I don't have it out there yet, but I've got the basic design down. The color scheme is pretty set too, but that will evolve with the design.

The intention of all of this is to keep things lean and useable. I don't want a lot of clutter in the way. I figure the site will serve many purposes and I don't want it to be confusing. If you come as a game tester, you know where to go; if you come to see my resume and professional items, you know where to go; if you come to see my creative endeavors, you'll know where to go. You get the idea.

It is a strong personal belief of mine that sites are way to cluttered with crap. Too many links, too many levels, too many dead areas that people don't even see. Menus of links are ignored, banners are ignored, most text is ignored. The web isn't mad for super long articles in the modern user's life. They usually want a quick hit and fly off to the next thing.

As always, keep it simple.

That rule always dies in meetings and business political wars though. Everyone wants the home page.

This post is being written from the newly installed Windows Live Writer. A tool that I can use to contribute to both of my major blogs: jasonhenke.blogspot.com and jasonhenke.spaces.windows.live.com; hmmm....I'm wondering if it works with Orkut, MySpace, and Facebook...I'll experiment this weekend.

I like that I can preview the styles and look of the site, I like that I can compose offline and upload them when ready. It's a great tool for the laptop...or so it seems, it is a new install so I'm just getting my feet wet with it. I could end up hating it.

Now, to the blogging of truth tonight...

I can't get to everything I wanted to blog about tonight. I simply ran out of time messing with getting WAMP (windows, apache, mysql, and php) up and running on my laptop.

I had apache and php up and running before, but I'd run into a major headache with MySQL. MySQL said it was installed, but didn't work. Tonight, I finally figured the damn thing out, but I killed Apache in the reinstall.

The problem? The MySQL installer (for windows) doesn't do everything it's supposed to do and craps out before setting your base password as requested. The issue really revolves around the configuration utility.I say this because the installer did put all the files on the computer, but couldn't configure the stuff.. Specifically it doesn't set the my.ini file with the proper settings (passwords, etc.).

What an F'N headache. Lot's of forum hunting and Googling, but I found my answer and hacked it into order. The key? open port 3306 in whatever firewall you use before you even attempt installing. Then, learn to run the command line startup by yourself so you can set the root password and fire up the service. You should then be good to go.

Now, I have to get Apache back up and going; it's 90% there, but I missed a configuartion setting at the end. I just need to tweak the config file and I should have it up and running this evening. This shouldn't be that bad as the Apache server installed--and configured--easily the first go around...that said, uttering those words is often the kiss of death, eh?

Coming up on the blogs: the new projects (film, writing, games) and a review/rundown of my buddies bachelor party (and the pretty girls therein).

I will try to get to all of this tomorrow night after work.

I have just installed MySQL, PHP, and MySQL on my laptop. This has been done in preperation of the new design for my personal website http://www.jasonhenke.com. It went very smoothly. I'm actually getting a bit excited for it. It's a new realm for me. We don't use any of these technologies at work so I'm looking forward to breaking new ground in my experience.

At work, we're really a Microsoft shop. I'm not for nor against any technology, so don't look for any flame war here. A tech is a tool to be used. Get used to it. I don't care the brand of your hammer, I care that it can smash a nail head deep into whatever I damn well want it in.

The LAMP structure has a lot of advocates, I'm about to find out what I think of it. I don't see any real speed differences so far and I think it will work just fine for my purposes.

I've updated the registration for the URLs of 2 creative projects I have under development and I'm really looking forward to pushing them forward.

I have also continued in brainstorming a few new projects that I have come up with in all of the chaos of my layoff impending life.

Soon, maybe by the end of the week, I'll have all of my application development software in place and all of the writing tools in place. I'll be fully active on the laptop and the desktop. I love the new 1gig memory for my laptop. It's made a huge difference.

So, I'm pushing forward despite what may come at work. I'm not one to get thrown for long. Get back up on the horse and trail blaze. Damn the conventions.

I have the color palate ready for www.jasonhenke.com, I have a few rough sketches ready as well.

More updates to follow!

I can breathe easy. I figured out what the Hell was going on with the processor spiking. God, that was irritating. I had a partially seated USB jump drive that I was downloading to and it was the problem. Ugh.

At the least, I know a symptom if it happens again. Good to know.

As I was saying, I feel like so many areas of my life are crammed full of time demands at the moment. I don't really get a chance to breathe. If I have my way with the return to writing and the multimedia, film, and video things...it'll still be nuts, but it'll be damn fun.

The gym sign up will help me blow off some energy as well. It's right by my joint so it'll be damn convenient for doing house projects and still getting in some exercise until the home gym can be set up again. It'll kick my butt for the first number of workouts, but it'll feel good. I like that i could do it late at night or super early if needed.

OK, now I'm wondering if any of this Internet presence stuff is netting me exposure with friends. It'll be nice to see what everyone is doing. I'm still trying to figure out what the heck to do with MySpace, Facebook, and Orkut. They will not take precedence over my website design though, but they'll be good for toying around with.

I just tried to install Windows Live Writer and it bombed out for some reason. There's no reason for it as my laptop meets the requirements from what I can tell. Disapointing...I think the tool would help me with the blogs. Ces La Vie. I'll do with out. No big loss.

Last night I finally decided on the technologies to use for my redesigned www.jasonhenke.com web site: Adobe Flex, Flash, PHP, and Java tecnologies (JSP, JSF, etc.); Oh, I'll also be adding in a forum from SMF fourms (www.simplemachines.org). A friend uses it for their company and is very happy with it. Word of mouth goes far with me.

As crazy as it may sound, deciding on the technologies to employ for www.jasonhenke.com wasn't as clear cut as it may seem. I'm really high on ASP.NET at the moment and was strongly considering moving to it. The major draw back for me would be cash. I could use the free developer from Microsoft (or even hand code it) of course, but I would have to change my hosting service from a LAMP structure (Linux, Apache, MySQL, and PHP) to the .NET platform and that would up my monthly costs. Frankly, I can do what I want with my chosen course and I can do it and save money per month; that's a winning decision I hope.

Eventually, I'll add in an e-commerce application as well so I can sell off some belongings and exploit my creative endeavors, but that's a bit off in the future.

For now, I've torn the site down completely and put up a very basic "here's what's going on" page; it's complete crap right now, but it'll hold for the moment. I'll be posting some idea sketches as I come up with them as I brainstorm. No one will care, but hey, I'm putting it out there. Oh, if you visit www.jasonhenke.com, please ignore all the 3rd person talking as it was an experiment that annoyed the crap out of me. The whole site will not be that way, it's just for now as I test out some items. It's friggen' annoying, be warned. Jason Henke is annoying--even to himself--but you may already know that!

The Jason Henke site redesign will take longer than I may want as I'm very busy with creating the new resumes (for the impending layoffs) and am hastily planning Mike's bachelor party (which is very short notice for May 17th). I have a ton to arrange. Hopefully we can make it a great night for him. It should be a blast and I'll have my butt out on a golf course (I'm not a golfer) just for him. That will be a riot! Let's see if trees can duck!

My best all, talk with you soon.

Live well, laugh often, love much.

P.S. I've created a MySpace profile: www.myspace.com/jasonhenke1 and a facebook profile: www.facebook.com (my user name is Jason Henke). You can also find me on Orkut and LinkedIn.

Along with ASP.NET, C#, and Java, I've been messing with Adobe Flex for work. Flex takes code you build in XML to compile it into a .swf file to use on the Internet. I'm quite proficient with Flash anyway, but this is a pretty neat deal. Using a modified version of Eclipse (or just using the Eclipse plugin), makes developing the interfaces very simple. I'm just getting around to adding actions and even handlers to it, but this is a neat idea.

I'm most curious about Adobe AIR as well. It's a neat time with all the web 2.0 kind of techs taking hold, but it's damn frustrating to try and keep up on all of it as is needed for the career. It never ends or slows down. You spend tons of cash to keep up, but that's what's needed in the field. You do reach a sort of staying even level though as they all have strong similarities to each other--this is a good thing.

So, which way to go forward with the skills and what suites to buy. I need to pick up the Adobe suite, but damn it's pricey. I do not have an upgrade path apparently, so, if I want the Master Suite I'll be forking out $2,500. At the least, I need the Premium Design Suite and that would run $1,599. The premium suite would allow me to upgrade to the Master Suite for $900 later. By comparison, Microsoft Visual Studio 2008 will run me around $700 from what I've seen online; that would allow me to do alot, but my print/visual design, and Flash skills would suffer. ASP.NET and C# would allow me some forward paths as Microsoft Technologies will be in use for a long time in many shops. I'll try mucking around with Microsoft's stripped down free editors to see if they can get me buy for a bit.

However, this is the rub for me at least, Java/JSP/Rails/Struts/JSF are all free with editors that can do HTML, XML, UML, etc as well. I could focus on a lot and save money for the hosting my sites as well.

So, I've been beating my head against this cost conundrum for this entire week. I'm having trouble prioritizing and deciding. As of today, I'm thinking of biting the Adobe Premium Design Suite, pursuing the free stuff from Java and the free editors from Microsoft. This is my cheapest path that inclues Flash. However, I will have to upgrade to Adobe's Master Suite at some point and Flex is not included in either of the two suites I'm contemplating. Flex editor isn't needed--because it's technically open source--but, it does make it very easy to develop Flex applications. It does piss me off that Dreamweaver can not validate or code Flex (at least from what I've seen to date, there may be a Flex extension for it though).

The price of professionalism is high.

Keep the chin up, I will be doing so; never stop chasing your dreams.

2 nights spent tweaking, tightening, and locking down the home network and laptop. It's been a ridiculous amount of installing software suites, removing bloat (a.k.a crapware, bloatware, etc.) from the network settings and laptop, and I'm finally ready to go.

Proof? I'm writing from my ill used laptop currently. Bring it: I'm ready to start designing, writing, coding, game creation, and get the creative projects rolling.

Suffice it to say that this is all to prepare for the lay offs. I've got the resume underway again, I've got a few leads, and I've got things starting to roll. I'll hate to lose a good team, a good environment, but I have to prepare.

The beautiful part is that having the laptop up and going--having it streamlined--and being able to sit on my couch, bed, or at the dining room table is fantastic for my freedom and productivity. I can create anywhere--unbound; that is a beautiful thing. I have to tell it plain, I love to have the laptop back up and ready to go. I've missed her.

Now, I can spend time writing when I come home. I can spend time tweaking. I can code and develop with a sense of play. I am free from the desk, free from the lavender cube walls, free to bring my multiple talents to bear. I can do it all while relaxing. It doesn't feel like work, it's play--and that's when we do our best work.

Next up on the computer hassle front: order RAM for the laptop; it's needed. Then remove some more programs and start with the writing software. I'll also set up the Facebook and MySpace profiles as well. It's amazing how sitting on your couch doing this can make such a bleeding difference to the mindset.

What will the future hold? Who knows. But, if I can get up, I'll be rising to it. Each day brings a new shot; I take 'em as well as I give 'em.

Well, some people have heard this already, but my work has announced impending layoffs. They will happen.

I honestly think my neck is on the block this time which is quite stressful. Our team has not yet been touched, but that will change this time as this first wave of layoffs and changes is a pure numbers cut. There will be further cuts down the road as they decommission applications and reduce duplication. Members (or maybe whole teams) will be moved on when their applications are gone.

The timeline is 90-120 days. I'm circling my wagons and am trying to save cash--at a more advanced rate--to prepare, just in case.

It is not a time anyone can feel safe in their position. There is one factor that could save me, but I'm left to wonder what the landscape will be like after the changes...how many bad weeks will there be? What happens when the environment and management is changed? Management changes alone can take a good job, team, and environment into a bad area. I've seen a new manager destroy teams and morale in amazingly short times. I've been in a nasty environment before and have no desire to be so again--it's miserable.

Hell, Gair and Heather have been through such environments as well. And that happened after they'd been at their respective jobs for almost a decade if I recall correctly. It can switch on a dime.

May that not happen here.

My team, my management, and my job has been quite good; I'd hate for anyone on the team to be laid off and I have no desire to have it happen to me either. I bring a lot of skills to the table, but--again--this round of layoffs is a business decision, not a personal one; it's all about the numbers baby. I expect the layoffs to be bigger than announced actually when I look at the strategic reasons they have cited for making the reductions.

Because of all this stress and uncertainty, my insomnia has been brutal since the announcement 2 weeks ago. There is so much to do. I went 72 hours on about 7 hours of sleep (9 hours at the most ) and had a couple of nights of no sleep. This is not normally what keeps me up in the general flow of my insomnia, but this time it is. I'm still trying to recover the hours. Today, the gas station guys thought I looked very tired--I am.

I have been to the doc the week to get some aid for the most stressful nights. It's helped. Thank God.

The times are uncertain. The stress is high. It's been a very tough year (from last May to now)--and a horrid 2 weeks. It isn't all black gloom though; there are good things happening as well.

I am most glad for the weekend and will be taking some serious time to relax, try to let it go, and get started on further preperations to hit the ground running in case I'm laid off and have to change tracks.

Next week, taxes.

Wish me luck on all fronts.

Ok, the dam has broken.

No, that doesn't do it justice--it exploded in a rushing torrent of mud, debris, and wild churning gray waters; stampeding, over running all, pounding it beneath its fury.

Since I set up my Window's Live Space, and finally started using my blogger.com account (that I set up back in 2005) this year, I've joined Twitter, I've started my Okrut space on my Gmail account (along with many of their other tools)...it hasn't stopped.

I have activated my Comcast Universal Address book, calendar, task list by Plaxco and have found it to be a nice tool. The two best calendar options are Window's Live Calendar beta and the Comcast Universal Address Book. Window's Live Calendar beta wins because I can mark an item as tentative, busy, free, etc. and that is not possible in any of the other calendar programs (google, yahoo!, or comcast's). The reason Comcast's Universal Address book comes in second is because it adds holidays, tasks, and notes in one spot to go along with any of my contacts. Google's tools are very close to second place as well, but until I found an iGoogle widget that had links to all of the Google tools, I found it most irritating to click around changing menus to find quick access to each tool.

The best over all suite of tools is a toss up for me between Window's Live tools and Google's tools. Google's free document tools wins out, but Window's Live is better for blogging, community, and the Sky Drive can't be beat for a very useful feature. The real test will be in how I integrate all of my sites (my personal website, and all my "spaces") to have them look as unified as possible. If Windows Writer can update all of my spaces in one shot, that'll put the Window's Live toolset over the top. The categories on the Window's Live Space blog is a huge thing for me and I like their Event interface as well. So many great features to play with on the 'net.

I can't declare an outright victor yet as I'm still torn between the two sets on the whole. Each has a plus and a minus to them for me. Granted, everything's pretty minor in the gripe field, but why the hell can't I save locations that I use frequently to add maps and addresses quickly to my calendar events? I'm coming to greatly enjoy the community features and group features for private affairs and testing areas (say of games, programs, stories, etc.) for discussions of items under testing.

These tools are all increasing my focus and productivity on the job and in the world. Because of this I will start investigating MySpace and Facebook. Granted, I've no friends in any of these things and my blogs are just static in the veins of the Internet, but that allows me freedom as well.

I need to design my website and determine what it's real purpose is. It's mostly a playground for me, but I need to put up my professional look as I continue to bring these other areas of my life back out into the light. I've laid in the weeds, watching, bunching up for the pounce and chase. I'll explode through the thrush and have the prey on the run in no time.