With Facebook, Twitter, Windows Live, Blogger.com, and perhaps Wordpress in the near future…I really feel a need to tie everything together to keep my updates from becoming my second job. I'm trying to reduce the time demand needed for hitting and updating all of these spots because I want to focus on my desired secondary projects (the short film, the stories, the game design, the art) and studies for my profession (lots to read about in the field…never ends, always in flux).

Hopefully Window’s Live Writer can help me in that goal. It’s good that my Facebook and Twitter are linked, it’s good in a number of ways…I just don’t wish to spend all my time blogging. I want to write creatively as well.

Blogging, or social networking, can take so much time out of your day…

The other day (Tuesday I think), I was catching up with my friend Robert at work. We were just chit chatting...not really about anything in particular, but I did assure him that his 8 year old daughter is much too ugly and will never have a date (the truth: she's darling, cute, and she's going to have boys all around her like seals barking for bits thrown from the zoo rails); an aside to Mike and John, you're both in the same boat!

This came up because Robert had a new picture of his daughter sitting on his desk.

My God, these kids grow up much too fast. I don't have any, may never have any now at my stage of life, but I feel the parent's sadness at how fast they grow up. It's amazing, gratifying, and heartbreaking all at once. Love is a complex ain't it? Yes, I mean a complex.

Robert's going to have to start practicing breaking down, oiling, and refitting the pistol so that he's in practice (this is the way he's planning on meeting her future gentlemen callers). If I put myself in his place, John's place, or Mike's place...I totally understand where they're coming from!

Anyway, somewhere in this conversation we got to recalling "the old days" as is a the won't of us cube dwellers of middling years whose suns may have taken the first step off the zenith. He's just picked up an old school Jeep Wagoneer and was thinking--well, dreaming--of putting in a floor mounted 8 track! I love it. While vinyl is making a nostalgic come back (spin those platters boys and girls!) and the pop of needles hitting the groove still exists, I think 8 tracks may be a lost cause, but I hope he goes for it. I just don't know how much Willy Nelson one  can handle...

I now have images of Robert tooling down Snelling, Meerschaum pipe in hand, singing along to some 70's vibes (till the tape slips into the other side's track midway through) in his wood paneled beaut.

Anyway, in the midst of this conversation and remembrance I pulled another folrid quote from my ass...one of those good sounding but goofy things I like to throw out, "Memories are the strongest perfume of life."

Something like that at least...I'd edit it to, "Memories are the perfume of life."

Robert laughed and said something like, "Oh, you!"

Which made me laugh as well. I mean it is over the top in today's verbiage, but still...those things stick with you.

"Is that a quote or did you make it up?"

"I pulled it from my butt."

We chuckled. I like to drop lines like that sometimes. Those goofy lines pop into my head and they're fun and often just meant for humor, but you know what? They stay with you and get quoted.

Besides, it kind of keeps the writer and creative in me alive in the monotony of 3/4 padded cube walls; walls that prove that I'm not wholly insane (they use full padded chambers for that), but that I am slipping...

P.S. Personally, I suspect I'd have been a pretty decent dad...maybe like Steve Martin in A Simple Twist of Fate (1994) ... but the reality is that I'm much more like Johnny Depp in Finding Neverland (2004) (the summary makes him look like a good guy who is good with kids...kids love me; I'm like Sweetums from the Muppets: big, goofy, and soft)...the kids would have lots of imagination, we'd fight dragons in many lands, and we'd find many jewels when we climbed the ladder down from the horizon's ledge into the dark lands and lost kingdoms below. But that's neither here nor there...I suspect I shall mirror too much of Shadowlands (1993) and C.S. Lewis...I'll weep like a baby next time I see that...time to watch Die Hard! What kind of Panzy ass am I now! LOL!

P.S.S. My birthday cometh...The date of Doom: June 8th...Another letter on the tombstone. Some good dinners come with it though...and good times with friends...

Have a great day ,
Jason Henke

This is from an email to a buddy. I like the sentiment, but it is very nostalgic in flavor. I'm posting this just because the images in the writing kind of stuck with me after I'd sent it.

The sad part is--and I blame it on lack of sleep and not enough caffeine--is that I had totally spaced typing in one very important invitee: Piper (his daughter)!!!

Oh, my Lord...how on earth did I miss that when I read it before sending? What a horrible thing to miss. I thought I had typed it, but I honestly never noticed her name missing in the reads before sending...sometimes your brain just sees what isn't there.

I felt horrible when I realized Piper was missing when John replied...he didn't take the oversight bad or anything, it just hit me like the proverbial truck when he said he'd bring Piper and that she'd love it...then I re-read the email I'd sent...it should be right in there (it's not)...oh Jason (!!)...dumb ass....yes, Victoria, I am an idiot.

I had looked both ways before stepping into the street--in some way I had to have seen the truck, with it's headlights on, barreling down at me and honking...and yet I blithely stepped out to quickly join the splatted bugs on its windshield. All because, in my mind's eye, I saw only open road...

This is why in Marketing/Advertising/Creative writing...you should always have an uninvolved party go over your text...I should hire an editor for my emails apparently. Gods man...

Here's the email, I'm calling it "American Summers" because I miss this and I hope kids are still able to do this. I hope it's not just regulated to the memories of my generation and before...if so, may the literature we leave for them keep the golden rays of sun, the pollen in the air, the heat of the pavement, and the indescribable flavor of neon blue slushy alive for those who follow...

In case I forget to mention it Thursday, we need to hit the Source w/Robert and Elanor in a couple of weeks…She needs to know the real world: Real Sugar Cane Pop (Double-Cola, Ski, Gem Cream Soda), Moon Pies (Vanilla, Chocolate, Orange), comics (Kaiju and Horses both), and—if they still exist—bubble gum loaded trading cards.

We’ll buy some stuff and sit on the curb outside—thumbing through cards, flipping pages, and drinking pop—a true American summer. The only thing missing would be our bikes haphazardly scattered on the ground around us sunning their bellies, waiting to chop the wind in their spokes again when we race to the dirt lot to hit balls.

This will be a blast when we can do it. The pop will be ice cold and in glass bottles. I can not tell you how happy I am to have those real flavors back sans the taste of plastic bottle and the tang of metal cans on your tongue.

--Jason Henke

My first question: How is the economy treating everyone, how are you holding up?

Me?

Pretty much the same as most I guess: tight money, job worries, bills suck, and my budget blows. But don't get me wrong, not all is black and dark. I'm still having fun, goofing around, playing, and smiling. I'm just ready for the tightening to loosen up (don't think that will happen soon though).

Work? Busy as Hell.

The update: They halved our teams in the layoffs and reorganization, they have now asked for 150% more productivity (with half the people? ouch.), and they have recently warned us we may not get any raises this year...if we do, they'll be paltry.

The lack of pay increase is tough (and halves what I got last year...we've been behind the cost of living for a long time as well), but the news wasn't unexpected by me. It's OK though--I kept my job and benefits.

Still, it's been hectic and I don't feel totally safe yet. I kind of expect another round of layoffs if the economy stays so black--our team is poised for easy cutting and outsourcing if they decided to do so.

This all said, my new manager, my team, and the overall work environment have continued to be great; it's odd to have the stress and still have a great morale and team environment--it rocks. This was most pleasant coming out of the huge changes we all went through.

Personal life?

I've been real busy as a social butterfly (I'm going out too much), with networking, with creative community/project building, and yet I've even been taking more time to hole up and deflate; I call it "going dark"--I go offline (cell, net, etc.), shut down the computers, phones, and I kick back and try to recharge the sanity batteries. Maybe I'll throw on some nondescript music in the background, but mostly I'll just sip some wine or other notable libations as I read, write, or solo game.

I've also started some side projects that I've had on the burner for a while and I'm starting to get back into some creative endeavors...I've even started dreaming of unknown blonds. :o)

This is because of my insomnia treatment.

Traditionally, I don't even go for blonds really...do I? I should evaluate that.

This year (since last March), has been horrid. I've averaged 3-4 hours of sleep. I'm most often up by 2AM-3AM and don't fall asleep until 11PM. This gets me into work by 4AM most days and I stay until 2:30PM.

Believe it or not, I'm holding up well, but it does kick my ass at times. I have a lot of sleep deprivation experience after 22 years. It sucks, but I can function thanks to the glorious caffeine molecule (or is it a compound? I have to look that up).

Anyway, they recently took me off of a sleep medicine they'd had me on for years; I was having side affects I didn't know about--never felt sick though. Once off, I started dreaming occassionally. I haven't had a real dream in years. So, what's the first dream of a guy? unknown mystery girls. Big surprise! LOL!! :o)

It's pretty funny, because I'm not even looking for any!

Being off the medication has also brought me significant weight loss--just by stopping. 20 pounds gone so far. How crazy is that? I barely eat and had been gaining weight all year. It was most odd. I had no clue it was a side effect.

We stopped the medicine because it didn't seem to be helping anymore even though we upped the dosage during the crazy months where I was in layoff limbo. My sleep pattern hadn't changed and I wasn't seeing results.

More treatment to come, I'm being sent to a new specialist at the U. I just want some more normal hours and a bit more energy.

So there ya go, there's my personal update. What do you all have going on?

Thanks for the times and conversations!
--Jason Henke

Jeez. It's been over a month since I've been even able to do this much on the site. I'm set to add the Wordpress features on my hosting server, I just need to add in the MySQL request and then I can start that all up.

What I've been doing since I was last here is pretty simple: I've been rebuilding my main computer (the hard drive gave out psychically), recovering data, and working a lot at the day job for a go-live that went off successfully.

Other than that, I've been doing chores and I have a lot more to do. I'll probably start up the Wordpress site in November after Dallas...so make it December...there's just too much happening before hand.

Like everyone else, I'm feeling the money crunch. Tightening the belt and going over budgets. It's tough right now and this will be the first year where my personal savings will drop (let's not even mention the retirement/investments!). I'm no different than anyone else. Things is tough.

If you were to ask about the creative projects...well, they've not progressed. I had too much day job/home computer fixing/daily tasks to keep me from getting to them. Wait, I lie. I just did some work yesterday on a project. Well, it's something at least.

OK, I've been working on the diet and nutrition and I've been working out to lose weight and get back to where I was before the second bout with the shoulder injury and the subsequent physical therapy (we're trying to avoid surgery)...and I gained 6 lbs. Jesus. Are you kidding me?!

So I ran an experiment last night. You're going to think this sounds odd, and it is, but it was intentional. I drank down a number of beers Saturday evening and last night in the pure interest of personal science. Why?

Empty calories and no fat.

I wanted to see if simply adding calories would cause me to lose weight. Your body metabolizes the calories in alcohol first. There is little nutritional value in what I experimented with, but I wanted to see what empty calories would do.

Why did I run this odd experiment on myself? To get that you need a bit of my history....

First, this will be the 3rd time I've lost a lot of weight  and have reset my body; each time I've done this, I've had to eat way more calories than I normally eat. I do not each much and I don't enjoy eating. I know that sounds weird, but I have had a very long history with stomach/digestion problems and often got wickedly ill with major diarrhea within a 1/2 hour of eating anything. I was miserable. I went through all kinds of tests and specialists and it came down to, "we don't know" and a generic listing of IBS (irritable bowl syndrome).

This sickness happened for me every meal from college on. I associate eating with getting very ill. It's a psychological thing (it was a physical thing that led to the psychological thing). So, yes, I'm big and I don't eat anything.

Anyway, skipping meals, eating small, trying to avoid the sickness...well, it all caused my metabolism to just stop. I wasn't properly fueled. There was one trip to San Fransisco where I got violently ill all day that showed me some triggers that caused me to get so sick. I have to avoid too much fiber and quick carbs. I had eaten a lot of fruit, salad, and dried fruit out in San Fran and it put me through a viscious ringer. I cut out eating carbs like pasta and non-whole wheat breads...I limited my fruits and vegetables...and I got control of my triggers. A valuable learning from a lot of pain.

So, I don't eat much. When I did weight watchers I learned how little I really eat. I had to pig out to get into the proper point range and I started losing weight. This also happened with Atkins. So, I had been busting my head and body trying to lose again...it wasn't working. So, last night, I upped my caloric intake with very bad light beer that was low carb...no real benefit to the diet, just empty calories...it worked. I lost 2 pounds.

Conclusion: I am not eating enough again. I am under nourishing my body. I'll have to eat more damn it.

It's a start.

The workouts will continue. I'll just put more food in the gut. I hate breakfast and cooking time. I want the 3 Jetson's pills that give me a full meal and nutrition. That would rock!

Let's see what the end of the week brings then.

Live well, laugh often, love much,
Jason Henke

Go down swinging.

Get back up.

Live well, laugh often, love much!
--Jason Henke

OK, I've been super busy and haven't had a chance to post anything in a number of days. This will continue as I will be booked all of this week with some entertainment and social butterfly events that will stop me from being able to update anything until the weekend when I finally get to unwind and take it easy.

Here's the quick and dirty low down:

• Mike and Kari's wedding went fantastic,
• My insomnia has been horrible and is taking a physical toll.
  • I am so run down and my absent mindedness is increasing
    
• Work is still in flux
  
  • with transitions and the layoffs taking affect,
    
    • but I finally have a .NET application to work on (I've been jonesing for that),
  • I'm not sure what my future path is anymore and I'm lost
    
    • The months of the impending layoffs and restructuring put me in a contemplative and planning mode as I tried to prepare to meet the nightmare scenario should it come to pass
      
      • I do not have anything decided upon, I just have a lot of questions and self reflections now
        
      • IMPORTANT:
        
        • If you know what I should be doing, or who, please let me know.
          
        • I hate being aimless...I'm not good at it.
          
• My personal website www.jasonhenke.com has been paused in development,
  • I'm testing my development on my home server to check on how much space may be needed
  • it ends up I may have to switch hosting companies for money and space...which sucks as I like my current spot,
• I am upgrading my laptop to XP Pro finally
  
  • This is good, but kind of blows as I'll have to reinstall and reconfigure everything again, but that's just time,
  • I need the Remote Desktop utility for work
  • I had to buy XP Pro before it went bye-bye as my laptop can not handle Vista...it's that or Linux (and I have too much software for Windows that I'll need to run)
    
• Diet is not working yet
  • In all seriousness, I do NOT eat enough. I'm in constant "Starvation Mode" (does that truly exist?) according to my calorie counts
  • Yes, I'm huge from barely eating, but I can change that around
    
• Working out is not working--yet--but, I will not stop
• I'm needing to get back to focusing on my house projects
• Writing and film ideas are being developed.

All my best to you guys!

Live well, laugh often, love much,
--Jason Henke
www.jasonhenke.com

I'm well behind in blogging about the days, things have been busy. Here's a very quick summary before I head out the door to run errands: I kept my job, I'm going for a promotion as soon as possible, I'm getting ready for Mike's wedding this holiday weekend (clothes shopping, gift shopping, speech writing), I'm starting the diet, I have a new car (pretty Honda Accord 20067), I have a plan for exercise that will save me a ton of money (money I don't have for the budget and car payment), and my Grandmother had a birthday yesterday.

I'm thinking a lot...I'm planning...I'm off to run errands, do laundry, and to try to enjoy the day.

I've been extremely busy...running behind...have a lot to blog about (Bachelor party, reviews, computers, work, life)...will be doing so tomorrow night (Wed. May 21st)...busy tonight too! Happiness, stresses, successes, and trials....more to come soon.

No rest for the wicked, but being wicked is fun. Long live the rock and roll lifestyle!

Live well, laugh often, love much!

My best,
Jason Henke