So this is a very odd position and feeling. I’m not sure how to react. I’m not sure if I should be worried…so, I’m in this weird state…it’s almost a detached curiosity—like I’ve found an oddity, a rose crowning a desert dune.

Hell, I have been trying to decide how to share the new situation with people as this could be most bad actually, but it's uncertain and I don't want a lot of melodrama.

It is important to note that this doesn't have to be super serious, and it may be a blip, but the worse case scenario is most bad. I'll have to see what the test at the end of the month ends up showing.

Anyway, I've put off buying anything until that test; as it may be, well, pointless (I almost made 2 major game buys this weekend, but decided that I really shouldn’t). I even just passed up on 2 very great sale opportunities...hopefully, I'll regret that. :)

Instead, I’ve been writing on the side. Redoing, re-planning the independent film (after a test I did on the sly, I came up with some good results and some major faults…a blog coming on that later). I’m working on my game design and I’ve been plotting out the novels (series) I’m planning and have underway; and, I even have had a couple of short stories pop up into mind…is this all too late though? Will my stories pass with me unbreathed?

I don’t know, I hope not. Just send me out some good vibes, thoughts, and prayers to whatever faiths are yours.

Instead of dancing around it more, here's the low down: my blood work showed my liver throwing off growth markers. How they know that, I have no idea.

It may be a blip, it may not be anything. If it is the worse case scenario, it is cancer and tumor growth.

Now, it is extremely rare for cancer in the liver to be the primary manifestation of the cancer. It's usually the secondary or tertiary manifestation after the cancer has metastasized. I have not, as of yet (and hopefully none of us ever will be), been diagnosed with cancer in any form. Why do I have fear then?

• My buddy died from this a couple of years back.
• My Grandmother passed from it when I was younger.

The news, and the reactions of the doc/nurses…was a bit alarming (and it came in the middle of major work stress, deadlines, Bruno's health, and the money pressures...ouch).

Worse? I can feel a pressure on my right side that I was aware of for quite awhile but didn’t note in any real way. See, it’s a pressure, not pain. It’s dull and I’d thought it was from sitting funny a lot (I tend to rest on my right elbow), bad posture, and abdominal exercises.

This may not be anything or related in anyway, but I don’t like the seeming correspondence one bit at all.

Here's what's also odd and set off the alarms: My Doctor is a very good one, and a very good guy, so the reaction I got from him was alarming. He was very low key, but you could clearly tell from the nurses--and his delivery--that there is…well, marked concern.

They have asked me to follow a very strict diet—basically meat and water truthfully. I was specifically to be no carb (not low carb) if possible for a month and then we'll retest. No alcohol either of course until the test. I shall be drinking lots of coffee, tea (Roibos and Green), and trying to do anything asked to hopefully help the coming test on August 28^th.

They have asked me to do that because when I'd done Atkins before, I lost a ton of weight and it completely changed my blood work…stunningly so.

In my personal case, Weight Watchers did not affect my blood work in any way and I always found that odd. It’s a very healthy plan and I encourage it, but for me--for whatever reason--Weight Watchers was awesome for about 8 months and then it stopped cold…never did affect my blood work though, and I was working out, staying on the plan religiously (I’m very good with instructions)…anyway, I’d stayed on Weight Watchers for another year after though, trying to get it to fire up. It never did.

So I switched to Atkins and the low carb lifestyle. In this one case, in the time I did Atkins, my triglycerides went from having me in the 1% group (read that as the death group) to completely normal. I lost a ton of weight (hit 200lbs, the goal weight).

Why did I stop? Meat. I got sick as hell of it. I burnt out. I gained my weight back. I have no idea why carbs would affect me so badly, but it appears they may. I’ve never eaten badly ever, in fact I barely eat much calorie wise (and when I start any diet, I have to eat way more than I usually do…too much work, not enough health).

Anyway, this very strict new diet for the test kind of sucks as I'm not a huge meat eater on the whole. I'm not vegetarian, but I lean that way (aside from ribs or steak now and again); let me tell you, eating this much meat is hard!

But, I will do whatever is needed. Wish me luck.

If it is cancer and I'm at the lip of my 6 feet, I'll fight as long and hard as I can, but I've yet to see anyone win that battle. I've seen how horrid it gets 3 times in my personal life.

However, I'm not a pessimist; I'm very much an optimist. It will all be due to cheap beer and the blood work will even out.

If it ends up being worse case I will sell almost everything or give it away. I've even been thinking that I could donate everything to a group like big brothers/big sisters, or ask the Source to maintain the library and have open active gaming--in the community...at library events or schools and such--and to advance gaming in the world; I'd simply ask them to maintain the collection and to celebrate a June 8th, “J game day” if I were to pass.

So—if I’m this flaunted optimist--why am I thinking about the rest? It's the strategist in me, the realist, the planner--one must have contingency plans as best as one can. You must be able to roll.

I tell you this in all honesty; this has been an amazingly horrid couple of years. Amazing testings, challenges, stresses, heartbreaks, tears, and yet…through it all…hope, love, and laughs.

Most have been around a table with friends and loved ones over dinner or sharing some game time together.

Live well, laugh often, love much, and hope,

--Jason Henke

With Facebook, Twitter, Windows Live, Blogger.com, and perhaps Wordpress in the near future…I really feel a need to tie everything together to keep my updates from becoming my second job. I'm trying to reduce the time demand needed for hitting and updating all of these spots because I want to focus on my desired secondary projects (the short film, the stories, the game design, the art) and studies for my profession (lots to read about in the field…never ends, always in flux).

Hopefully Window’s Live Writer can help me in that goal. It’s good that my Facebook and Twitter are linked, it’s good in a number of ways…I just don’t wish to spend all my time blogging. I want to write creatively as well.

Blogging, or social networking, can take so much time out of your day…

The other day (Tuesday I think), I was catching up with my friend Robert at work. We were just chit chatting...not really about anything in particular, but I did assure him that his 8 year old daughter is much too ugly and will never have a date (the truth: she's darling, cute, and she's going to have boys all around her like seals barking for bits thrown from the zoo rails); an aside to Mike and John, you're both in the same boat!

This came up because Robert had a new picture of his daughter sitting on his desk.

My God, these kids grow up much too fast. I don't have any, may never have any now at my stage of life, but I feel the parent's sadness at how fast they grow up. It's amazing, gratifying, and heartbreaking all at once. Love is a complex ain't it? Yes, I mean a complex.

Robert's going to have to start practicing breaking down, oiling, and refitting the pistol so that he's in practice (this is the way he's planning on meeting her future gentlemen callers). If I put myself in his place, John's place, or Mike's place...I totally understand where they're coming from!

Anyway, somewhere in this conversation we got to recalling "the old days" as is a the won't of us cube dwellers of middling years whose suns may have taken the first step off the zenith. He's just picked up an old school Jeep Wagoneer and was thinking--well, dreaming--of putting in a floor mounted 8 track! I love it. While vinyl is making a nostalgic come back (spin those platters boys and girls!) and the pop of needles hitting the groove still exists, I think 8 tracks may be a lost cause, but I hope he goes for it. I just don't know how much Willy Nelson one  can handle...

I now have images of Robert tooling down Snelling, Meerschaum pipe in hand, singing along to some 70's vibes (till the tape slips into the other side's track midway through) in his wood paneled beaut.

Anyway, in the midst of this conversation and remembrance I pulled another folrid quote from my ass...one of those good sounding but goofy things I like to throw out, "Memories are the strongest perfume of life."

Something like that at least...I'd edit it to, "Memories are the perfume of life."

Robert laughed and said something like, "Oh, you!"

Which made me laugh as well. I mean it is over the top in today's verbiage, but still...those things stick with you.

"Is that a quote or did you make it up?"

"I pulled it from my butt."

We chuckled. I like to drop lines like that sometimes. Those goofy lines pop into my head and they're fun and often just meant for humor, but you know what? They stay with you and get quoted.

Besides, it kind of keeps the writer and creative in me alive in the monotony of 3/4 padded cube walls; walls that prove that I'm not wholly insane (they use full padded chambers for that), but that I am slipping...

P.S. Personally, I suspect I'd have been a pretty decent dad...maybe like Steve Martin in A Simple Twist of Fate (1994) ... but the reality is that I'm much more like Johnny Depp in Finding Neverland (2004) (the summary makes him look like a good guy who is good with kids...kids love me; I'm like Sweetums from the Muppets: big, goofy, and soft)...the kids would have lots of imagination, we'd fight dragons in many lands, and we'd find many jewels when we climbed the ladder down from the horizon's ledge into the dark lands and lost kingdoms below. But that's neither here nor there...I suspect I shall mirror too much of Shadowlands (1993) and C.S. Lewis...I'll weep like a baby next time I see that...time to watch Die Hard! What kind of Panzy ass am I now! LOL!

P.S.S. My birthday cometh...The date of Doom: June 8th...Another letter on the tombstone. Some good dinners come with it though...and good times with friends...

Have a great day ,
Jason Henke

This is from an email to a buddy. I like the sentiment, but it is very nostalgic in flavor. I'm posting this just because the images in the writing kind of stuck with me after I'd sent it.

The sad part is--and I blame it on lack of sleep and not enough caffeine--is that I had totally spaced typing in one very important invitee: Piper (his daughter)!!!

Oh, my Lord...how on earth did I miss that when I read it before sending? What a horrible thing to miss. I thought I had typed it, but I honestly never noticed her name missing in the reads before sending...sometimes your brain just sees what isn't there.

I felt horrible when I realized Piper was missing when John replied...he didn't take the oversight bad or anything, it just hit me like the proverbial truck when he said he'd bring Piper and that she'd love it...then I re-read the email I'd sent...it should be right in there (it's not)...oh Jason (!!)...dumb ass....yes, Victoria, I am an idiot.

I had looked both ways before stepping into the street--in some way I had to have seen the truck, with it's headlights on, barreling down at me and honking...and yet I blithely stepped out to quickly join the splatted bugs on its windshield. All because, in my mind's eye, I saw only open road...

This is why in Marketing/Advertising/Creative writing...you should always have an uninvolved party go over your text...I should hire an editor for my emails apparently. Gods man...

Here's the email, I'm calling it "American Summers" because I miss this and I hope kids are still able to do this. I hope it's not just regulated to the memories of my generation and before...if so, may the literature we leave for them keep the golden rays of sun, the pollen in the air, the heat of the pavement, and the indescribable flavor of neon blue slushy alive for those who follow...

In case I forget to mention it Thursday, we need to hit the Source w/Robert and Elanor in a couple of weeks…She needs to know the real world: Real Sugar Cane Pop (Double-Cola, Ski, Gem Cream Soda), Moon Pies (Vanilla, Chocolate, Orange), comics (Kaiju and Horses both), and—if they still exist—bubble gum loaded trading cards.

We’ll buy some stuff and sit on the curb outside—thumbing through cards, flipping pages, and drinking pop—a true American summer. The only thing missing would be our bikes haphazardly scattered on the ground around us sunning their bellies, waiting to chop the wind in their spokes again when we race to the dirt lot to hit balls.

This will be a blast when we can do it. The pop will be ice cold and in glass bottles. I can not tell you how happy I am to have those real flavors back sans the taste of plastic bottle and the tang of metal cans on your tongue.

--Jason Henke

My first question: How is the economy treating everyone, how are you holding up?

Me?

Pretty much the same as most I guess: tight money, job worries, bills suck, and my budget blows. But don't get me wrong, not all is black and dark. I'm still having fun, goofing around, playing, and smiling. I'm just ready for the tightening to loosen up (don't think that will happen soon though).

Work? Busy as Hell.

The update: They halved our teams in the layoffs and reorganization, they have now asked for 150% more productivity (with half the people? ouch.), and they have recently warned us we may not get any raises this year...if we do, they'll be paltry.

The lack of pay increase is tough (and halves what I got last year...we've been behind the cost of living for a long time as well), but the news wasn't unexpected by me. It's OK though--I kept my job and benefits.

Still, it's been hectic and I don't feel totally safe yet. I kind of expect another round of layoffs if the economy stays so black--our team is poised for easy cutting and outsourcing if they decided to do so.

This all said, my new manager, my team, and the overall work environment have continued to be great; it's odd to have the stress and still have a great morale and team environment--it rocks. This was most pleasant coming out of the huge changes we all went through.

Personal life?

I've been real busy as a social butterfly (I'm going out too much), with networking, with creative community/project building, and yet I've even been taking more time to hole up and deflate; I call it "going dark"--I go offline (cell, net, etc.), shut down the computers, phones, and I kick back and try to recharge the sanity batteries. Maybe I'll throw on some nondescript music in the background, but mostly I'll just sip some wine or other notable libations as I read, write, or solo game.

I've also started some side projects that I've had on the burner for a while and I'm starting to get back into some creative endeavors...I've even started dreaming of unknown blonds. :o)

This is because of my insomnia treatment.

Traditionally, I don't even go for blonds really...do I? I should evaluate that.

This year (since last March), has been horrid. I've averaged 3-4 hours of sleep. I'm most often up by 2AM-3AM and don't fall asleep until 11PM. This gets me into work by 4AM most days and I stay until 2:30PM.

Believe it or not, I'm holding up well, but it does kick my ass at times. I have a lot of sleep deprivation experience after 22 years. It sucks, but I can function thanks to the glorious caffeine molecule (or is it a compound? I have to look that up).

Anyway, they recently took me off of a sleep medicine they'd had me on for years; I was having side affects I didn't know about--never felt sick though. Once off, I started dreaming occassionally. I haven't had a real dream in years. So, what's the first dream of a guy? unknown mystery girls. Big surprise! LOL!! :o)

It's pretty funny, because I'm not even looking for any!

Being off the medication has also brought me significant weight loss--just by stopping. 20 pounds gone so far. How crazy is that? I barely eat and had been gaining weight all year. It was most odd. I had no clue it was a side effect.

We stopped the medicine because it didn't seem to be helping anymore even though we upped the dosage during the crazy months where I was in layoff limbo. My sleep pattern hadn't changed and I wasn't seeing results.

More treatment to come, I'm being sent to a new specialist at the U. I just want some more normal hours and a bit more energy.

So there ya go, there's my personal update. What do you all have going on?

Thanks for the times and conversations!
--Jason Henke

The free laptop is set up with all of my writing software. Next up is the Adobe Suites and Netbeans...The best bit of this is that I now have 2 laptops ready for home and travel. I can start writing anywhere again!

Bring on the coffee shops, lunch breaks, my down times as I wait to pick folk up. I will now have one of my laptops on hand and I'm ready to start the creative projects in earnest.

This is awesome. Writing, design, movie projects, and game design...all ready to go. This old/new laptop is going to become my main road warrior for writing in the upcoming days. Eventually, when the coffers are restored, I'll probably get an ultra-portable laptop (instead of a netbook I think) to replace the current ones.

The old Pentium 3 laptop (which works damn fine for just about everything--including a lot of game) will be my home/downstairs computer. Flash drives or a passport HD will be the main storage mediums as I'll be able to readily switch back and forth. Back ups will be made frequently and files will be stored in the Window's Live Skydrive for backup from anywhere. Very, very cool.

A side note: the new laptop (actually an old laptop that I was given for fixing it up) has a wonky mouse pad. It works, but it's a bit flaky with the mouse movement. I think it just needs some tweaking and then it'll most likely work fine. If not, no biggie--I have a port-a-mouse. :o)

Hell, I think that I just solved the wonky mousepad in typing this entry out...my palms resting on either side of the pad caused the mouse pointer to jump around because of the weight pressing down on the pad. I wasn't touching the pad, but I was touching the laptop case to the sides (actually resting my hands on the metal as I typed) and I noticed that the pointer would drift or jump like a little jumping bean to which ever palm was exerting some pressure on the laptop case. So, I just upped the palm protection in the mousepad's software and I seem good to go. Doubly sweet! It was driving me batty.

Night everyone, I'm wiped.

--Jason Henke

So, I've been on a pill for my insomnia for years...never felt I really had any side effects. I wasn't ill from it, didn't feel bad, and it seemed to help a little bit.

Turns out, I was wrong about the side effects--way wrong.

This all came about after I had browsed our health library at work and looked up the med's side effects. I seemed to have a number of them without knowing or suspecting anything.

One side effect was weight gain and trouble losing weight. This I definitely had. I'd been going nuts trying to lose weight and nothing was working...including barely eating while increasing my exercise. It made no scientific sense at all, but I was actually gaining weight rapidly instead of losing...very discouraging.

Using this finding, I decided to cut down the sleep med and I dropped 20 pounds just by doing that. I dropped it rather quickly in truth.

I was shocked; I had no idea how much a little pill could affect.

I shouldn't have been surprised though; I had been given some Mirapex a couple of years back to see if I had restless legs. I was to start Mirapex on the lowest dosage (half a pin head in truth) and then ramp up to the proper dosage. That med messed me up in a major way. I was a zombie, totally F'd up by it. I took this half a pinhead dosage exactly twice and then said, there's no way I can do this, I'd lose my job and I couldn't function or think straight. That was actually a bit scary.

Then, in Dallas for the convention this last week, I decided to cut the sleeping pill out completely. It was a perfect time to do it. I was going to be up and very tired for the convention anyway. It worked out perfectly. Now, the other major life impacting side effect is diminishing as well.

This is awesome; I'm making progress. Lesson learned: always watch for side effects and know what they are. You might be doing everything right and it might be a pill standing in your way.

Live well, laugh often, love much!
Jason Henke

OK, after a ton of listening, I've downgraded my rating of "Death Magnetic".

I'm very glad to have the Metallica boys back in Thrash mode and I'm damn skippy to have Metallica sounding songs crashing the brainwaves again...but the mix on "Death Magnetic" has started to piss me off to no end. The thin ass vocal mix is not acceptable. It doesn't fit the room size in the recording as there's nil reverb on it. It sounds almost separate from the mix to me.

Somebody please stop them from going into "...And Justice for All" mix/record mode next time. Let them growl through the full range of hertz.

I keep hearing the Guitar Hero mix of "Death Magnetic" is fantastic (I haven't heard it yet) and if true, that pisses me off.

Many of the songs on "Death Magnetic" have a great riff and many of the riffs will make you think "Damage Inc.", "Master of Puppets", etc. This isn't totally fair as they aren't cops--they're evocative of the albums. However, as a listener, these thoughts will float by.

Still, while not an "A" anymore, "Death Magnetic" rates a damn solid "B".

It's also the best damn album Metallica has had in decades. I still say welcome back boys!

Now, keep that damn train rolling.

--Jason Henke

Jeez. It's been over a month since I've been even able to do this much on the site. I'm set to add the Wordpress features on my hosting server, I just need to add in the MySQL request and then I can start that all up.

What I've been doing since I was last here is pretty simple: I've been rebuilding my main computer (the hard drive gave out psychically), recovering data, and working a lot at the day job for a go-live that went off successfully.

Other than that, I've been doing chores and I have a lot more to do. I'll probably start up the Wordpress site in November after Dallas...so make it December...there's just too much happening before hand.

Like everyone else, I'm feeling the money crunch. Tightening the belt and going over budgets. It's tough right now and this will be the first year where my personal savings will drop (let's not even mention the retirement/investments!). I'm no different than anyone else. Things is tough.

If you were to ask about the creative projects...well, they've not progressed. I had too much day job/home computer fixing/daily tasks to keep me from getting to them. Wait, I lie. I just did some work yesterday on a project. Well, it's something at least.

Well, so far, the changes to the diet have been unsuccessful. I have, in fact, had complete failure.

Despite changing the diet around (first to do Atkins, then to do Weight Watchers) in the last month, I have not had any success. In fact, despite being well below my Weight Watcher points (or even smack in the middle of the range), I have gained 10 pounds out of the blue last week.

That, frankly, sucked.

I eat well, haven't indulged, and yet I gained magically last week. I was a crushed and pissed off.

Will I quit? No.

I'll keep exercising and increasing my food intake to be in the proper range of points. I'll keep striving to make sure my body is properly fueled. I have not been doing this well and I've still been eating far too little. I think this one simple change to the diet will still be the answer I need.

In short, I still need to eat more. That seems to always be the answer for me. It's amazing that I still don't eat enough.

So, back to it! I'll get the weight loss to start.

Keep the faith,
Jason Henke

Hell yeah.

The thrash is back.

Lots of speed...totally loving the old school vibe again. The shifts in speed, melody, and riffs....Good job boys!

Welcome the F back!

--Jason Henke

I'm old school with my Metallica fandom. I like it fast, I like it loud, I like it intense. I like the changes in rhythm, I like varying riffs, I like melodic intensity. I like the mosh, I like the pit, I like the thrash, I like the attitude they had.

"Death Magnetic" is the best album they've had since the 2nd disc of "Garage Inc." (when they finally put "Breadfan" and "Stone Cold Crazy" on CD). "Death Magnetic" actually thrashes again. It actually has some bottom end in it.

However, it isn't a straight out home run though. It's got a few songs in their new vein which I don't really love yet, but they don't really piss me off either; maybe, with listening, they'll grow on me more.

Overall, I hate the thin sound (but like the songs) on "...And Justice for All" and that thin highly compressed sound is on the first radio single released from "Death Magnetic"--that single almost kept me from even exploring this disc and had definitely kept me from picking up "Death Magnetic" at release time; I mean come on, they even thinned James' vocal track to match the thin sound on the first single released this time. I feared this would be the whole album...

It isn't.

First off, and I'm truly sorry, but that thin ass sound blows. It sounds like crap. I only listen to AM radio when I have to. With the equipment out in the homes and in the hands of the kids...use the full sonic tonal range available to you. Let some thrasher have his boom car thundering with your song. Stop giving his tweeters alone the work out.

Thank God, this album doesn't stick to the thin sound all the way through.

The first radio single kept me from buying the album despite hearing continuous reports that Metallica had gone back to the heavier riffs and thrash. Why then did I pick up "Death Magnetic"? Because my buddy Bradd had it and I could hear the other songs.

Frankly, those other tracks made me much happier.

This, as Bradd said, is the album that should have followed "...And Justice for All." F__k the "Black Album" and the others after it. We finally have the speed and complexity of Metallica of yore back in the mix. It's no longer one riff and then hanging power chords for the chorus. It's not "Turn the Page" or "Whiskey in the Jar"...it's not the power ballad "Nothing Else Matters" and it's not a lame attempt at being Motley Crew or the Seattle Grunge sound. It's not the desire for a "greasy" sound.

It's power, speed.

It's more old school.

It is so much closer to the Metallica I remember. It's closer to the thunder and glory of the pit and their "remember the kidz" days.

Welcome back guys. It's about F'N time. You left a bunch of us hanging.

Now go kick ass again.

I look forward to exploring "Death Magnetic", letting the songs sink in as I give it numerous spins today as I work. I'll have a much firmer reaction to it by tonight.

Live well, laugh often, love much!
--Jason Henke

Did I mention this in an earlier post today?

I can't recall if I have, so I'll say it anyway: I've started an effort to eat more and up my caloric intake (from the 1,000 or so I'd been averaging to the proper 2,500's). According to my eating log in the last number of weeks, I really needed a lot more food. So, yesterday after work,  I bought a ton of Microwave meals to try this week and weekend.

I'm ballparking my Weight Watcher number range as a calorie intake gauge.

Eventually, I'll be switching over to the low carb thing for my triglycerides, but I need to get the engine going so I can start slimming up again. This is all a part of my focus on Health in all areas of my life.

This all ties back to an earlier post (this one I know I have said online before) about my not liking to eat much because of my decades of getting so ill within 20 minutes of eating. Because of that physical history, and the many specialist tests, I just have a psychological connection with eating now that makes it not exactly a thing to look forward to for me. I eat because I have too. If I could have the 3 Jettson's pills and proper nutrition, I'd do it!

I do have a decent control on my trigger foods (and fiber levels) that had caused me to get so violently ill after eating. I owe that knowledge to a very bad day in San Fransisco---pure Hell, but it brought the keys into focus.

Since I need more calories (and didn't want to buy weight gain powder just to start losing weight), I'm upping the meals I eat. Microwave dinners suck--really suck!--but, they're fast and I can make them through out the day at work. Let's see if this new attack works.

It should because science is real.

My best,
Jason Henke

Well, last night really sucked the hard one. I could not sleep. I was up until after 11 PM and I was awake by 2:30-3:00 AM. I finally looked at the clock--something I try very hard not to do--at 3:17 AM. I just got up, there was no point in suffering anymore.

I was hot, uncomfortable, and just wasn't sleeping. I got up, put some painter's tape on a wall, and got ready for the day.

I'll tell you this in a personal aside: I'm becoming convinced that this insomnia is going to kill me in the end. I don't feel healthy, I feel like my health is faltering. I've been working on nutrition and sleep for awhile now...I'm making progress, but this insomnia is making me feel like my time is limited. It was not a good night.

Anyway, I am not feeling good today, but I can tell you that I'm very glad that I'd made a commitment to getting better health in all areas of my life: body, spirit, mind, finances, home, personal life, leisure time, and in my relationships.

Live well, laugh often, love much!
Jason Henke

Spent last night doing chores and installing software back onto the rebuilt laptop. First priority--software wise--was getting the writing suites back in place and restoring my brainstorms and early production work. Everything is back aside from one main program Dramatica Professional v.4.0. I have no idea what's happening, but it would not install at all. The installer would not even launch.

This is odd because it worked fine on the laptop and XP Home. There should be no reason why it won't load on XP Professional now.

I think it may be running a license check or something online during installation and it's seeing that the license is on more than 2 computers now. I shot off an email to the the company and I await their response.

I would need them to free one license (currently marked as used) in their records as the laptop it was on needed to be rebuilt from scratch and the last program installation was lost. If this is the issue, I should be good to go once they free up that tied license.

I'll take some time off tonight and just veg out. Tomorrow (Thursday), I'll put on some development software and the Fairview VPN so I can access my work computer.

I should be able to start some writing time over the weekend.

My best,
Jason Henke

Ever since I had put my development of the Jason Henke website (www.jasonhenke.com) on the back burner--after surviving the layoffs in June--I've been toying with what to do as my multimedia stuff is being built. As any designer/developer will tell ya, that crap takes time!

A true production and refocusing of anything takes a lot of upfront time to--hopefully--have a smooth roll out and debut. I do want to have something in place as I take this time so I can post updates, progress, and such in one spot that I can then feed out to other areas. I am finally moving forward with that desire.

I think that I've found a forward path that will allow me to do this. I'm going to install WordPress (http://wordpress.org/)--and maybe add in the DisQus (http://disqus.com/) application--on the Jason Henke web site to start the ball officially rolling; I can get a polished look and I can add in my "update enteries" as I go. This should allow me cross post to my "reclaiming creative life day-by-day" entries on the proper blog (jasonhenke.blogspot.com) and my more personal--and varied--posts to this very Windows Live Space (jasonhenke.spaces.live.com) as appropriate.

Using Windows Live Writer (http://get.live.com/writer/overview), I can write everything on any computer (mostly my laptop while on the run) and then post the entries to all spots easily. This is a very good idea I think. It keeps things more focused.

So, the Jason Henke website (www.jasonhenke.com) will have all of the postings in different sections, some static pages for resume and "about" material, and links to all the online spaces I'm a part of. This allows the Jason Henke site to become the front end--and one-stop-shop--that I intend it to be for me.

The WordPress bit will get me a lot of what I wanted right off the bat. I can then bring in Simple Machine Forums (www.simplemachines.org), and the behind the scenes module I've been building (this has gone well). I can then add in the games, forums, resume, etc. as subdirectories as they are developed.

The "behind the scenes module" bit that I've been working on has been going quite well, but I have a lot to add into it. I think my efforts, while not having a front facing look yet have been going well. It's nothing major, but does allow me to share more as I go forward.

I'll tell you what, WordPress will allow me to get rocking quicker and my Jason Henke website (www.jasonhenke.com) will be more purposeful as the other items can be built and put into place. Unfortunately, the change to the website will up my monthly fee, but that was going to happen anyway, because I was going to add in the database backend.

I may finally have a path forward--a path, that I found by accident this morning.

I love when this stuff happens!

My best,
Jason Henke

Last night--while watching the convention and a historic moment in the Western World (the first black Presidential candidate is huge history no matter your party) on a historic day (anniversary of MLK's "I have a dream")--I stripped the laptop down to the bones, rebuilt it, reinstalled XP Professional and all appears to have gone well.

This time there was one important thing that the upgrade asked me for. It did NOT ask me for this in the first attempt. It needed to know where the driver for my network card was, I put in the disc, pointed to the file, and XP Pro went off and running. I was able to connect to the Internet after the installation. I was able to download patches and service pack 3. It appears to be working again.

Having the XP Pro upgrade process ask for the driver this time is massive. That's where the problems were after I upgraded last time. My network cards, my ipconfig module, all dropped dead and could neither be updated, reinstalled, or found. That was one of the oddest things I've had happen in a long time.

After service pack 3 installed, I shut the laptop down and hit the sack about midnight (I needed to do this as I get up at 4 AM to head into the office). I'll power it up when I get home and hopefully it all comes up fine. Then, I'll install the remaining patches and--if all goes well--I'll start putting on the software again. I should be up and writing, developing the multimedia, the games, and the movie preproductions again by the end of the holiday weekend.

That will F'N rock.

This whole implossion of the laptop was a complete pain in the butt. Hopefully, I'm off and running now. It seemed so last night. So, we'll see what happens tonight when I fire it up on the XP Professional Service Pack 3 O.S.

I am cautiously opptomistic as I was able to do things on the 'net last night.

As I continue my trend of revisiting my past punk/metal/alternative music, I have a huge opportunity to pick up the majority of Sonic Youth's music for $20....I'm debating buying it (you know I'll cave), but I'm trying to save cash. Still though, opportunity purchases like this are rare.

Sigh. I know I'm buying it....

Live well, laugh often, love much,
Jason Henke

Tonight, while watching "Ghost Hunters", I'm going to be doing a lot of laptop work. All should go well (famous last words right?) and I should have things underway again.

Mostly, I'll be backing up all of my data, my creative writing work, my pre-production and brainstorming notes, and then I'll be reinstalling all of my software from scratch.

I'm just hoping to remove some junk and clutter and get the puppy running as quickly as it can. It is old and it may be on the last legs, but the Laptop still does what I need it to.

I will have to get a new computer in the next couple of years or so and I'll be getting both a desktop and a laptop again as the combination has been spectacular for all phases of my multimedia artistry.

Whatever the new laptop will be, it'll be as extremely portable--and as powerful--as I can get no matter what.

I don't know of course, but I sure feel like having a desktop computer is in the last days for most people. I just find laptops to be more "every day usable" for folk. They are smaller--and the lighter they are...well, the more you can bring them everywhere with you. Hell, this desire to mobile compute is the reason that I think that the IPod/IPhone/SmartPhone mini PCs will destroy the laptop trend in the end. Even using my Tungsten T3 (heck, even going back to using my Sony Clie) with "Documents to Go" or MobiPocket Reader has been extremely productive for me...I just think this type of mobile computing is the future.

I mean, the major reason for my having a desktop box alongside my laptop is for power development. Most people--however--don't need such a warhorse because they mostly watch movies, youtube videos, stream music, surf the web, shoot off emails, use an Office suite or Money suite,  etc. A laptop serves those needs incredibly well. I haven't even seen to many people gaming at the computers anymore. Folk do still game of course, but it's mostly more casual online games I see getting more play.

I'm going to be getting a new printer soon as I'm moving forward in some production work and prototyping. I'm strongly leaning towards a color laser printer at the moment because I don't want to have to spray items for protection and waterproofing anymore (well, I want to reduce my need to do so).

I just don't have a spray booth or proper ventilation at home and I'm not going to be able to get such a work studio anytime soon. Plus, winter is coming and the outside spraying will not be viable anymore.

A laser printer would fit my needs extremely well, I don't print up photographs on my home printer (a waste if you ask me) so I'm not worried about that. I need good production levels of printing, I need network connectivity, and I need more 'permanent' ink--a Laser Printer seems to meet these criteria better than the inkjets I've been looking at.

Even if I get a laser printer down the road, my regular old deskjet will still be in use for normal print jobs.

At Sam's Club I saw a terabyte network hard drive for a very good price. I'd love to have a network drive and a network printer, they'd just increase my productivity at home and I could be at either of the computers. That is a win/win.

--Jason Henke

I think it's been June or so since I've logged on to any of the major webspaces (MySpace, Facebook, Orkut, etc.). I may have friend requests, I may have nothing, but I should update the sites. I have no idea what value these "apps" bring to the table, but I'm not wowed by them yet.

Of course, I can't judge them since I've done very little with them as of yet.

I just feel like I logged in, created my same profile in 10 sites, and then there was nothing else to do. Wait, I can shoot out a little Twitter style "note" and say, "Hey, I'm sleeping" or "Hey, I"m bored" or "Hey, I'm..." you get the idea. That's not very exciting nor a great call for me to use the social sites. However, I hear about application widgets you can use, but do these amount to anything more than throwing folk strippers, Muppets, pirates, etc? I know there are at least a game or two on Facebook since all the fall out around the Scrabble game brouhaha.

Are these good networking (social and professional) sites? Do they help you stay in contact with people? Will they benefit me or my time spent on them? Why are they so popular?

I guess the only way to find out is to stay in them for a bit and see what happens when I push the big red buttons, the blinking lights, and flip the levers opposite ways.

Live well, laugh often, love much,
Jason Henke